Full-scale war has changed everything. But those who joined the armed forces, remind us daily that struggle is here, and not only against occupation and imperialism.

Before today, we reached out to fighters we support to hear their thoughts. How has the war changed them? How do they reflect on the experience three years after the invasion – being a woman in the army? This role, seemingly new, becomes increasingly familiar and better understood. For those who are fighting, certain issues are surprisingly persistent: inequality, invisibility, and an obligation to prove their competence every day.

Their responses — vastly different, but strikingly similar — reflect the very issues they describe.

One of the fighters, who chose to remain anonymous, rejected the suggested script and sent us her personal manifesto, “Sister, be my sister-in-arms.” It’ll open the interview.

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SISTER, BE MY SISTER-IN-ARMS

Sister, open the map. Look again at the size of Ukraine compared to russia. Feel that fear again?

Now remember: this war has been going on for 11 years, with the last 3 being the most intense phase.

Remember that, beyond its smaller size, Ukraine is a non-nuclear state with a smaller army and fewer weapons compared to russia. But instead of fear, do you now feel the realization of our strength? That strength must be fueled. And the most effective personal way to reinforce it is likely by joining the Armed Forces of Ukraine.

If you are not ready, if you can’t, if you do not want to, if you do not know how — then be the strongest possible support. If you are not ready now, if you can’t, if you do not want to, if you do not know how – prepare. Learn, train, strengthen yourself physically, mentally, and morally.

Find your rightful place in this fight — a place where women are respected. There are roles beyond combat, including support positions.

But I urge you to choose a combat role. Because we need motivated people here.

Because you have fought for many things in civilian life. You know what it means to fight. You will have to work not just twice as hard, but several times harder to earn respect in a male-dominated unit. And even then, you won’t be the strongest.

The strongest will always be collective unity.

Prepare yourself. Because when we are gone-whatever that may mean — it will be your turn.

For me, the fight for freedom is freedom. It often doesn’t feel that way in the routine of military work. But that’s exactly what it is — my freedom.

— anonymous

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How do you feel in the army?

VARDA: After more than a year of service, I finally found the opportunity to be in a team with professional and motivated people, and I’m really happy about it. Fatigue is starting to take its toll, but many people work in much worse conditions, carrying out far more difficult tasks for much longer. So l have no right to complain.

FRANKA: It’s ok. At first, I was anxious — I had little idea of what to expect, and I was afraid I wouldn’t manage, will burn out, or be scared. But in the end, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I guess it helps that I’m working almost within my profession — just in slightly more extreme conditions. 🙂

VIPER: I hate militarism, rigid regulations, and everything tied to toxic relationships. Casual sexism, misogyny, sexualized jokes, homophobia, and zigs – what I see in the army every day. But it doesn’t bother me as much anymore because you meet incredible people, even those whose views may be completely different from yours. A shared dream and a good sense of humor can turn you into friends.

LASTIVKA*: The first thing that comes to mind— shitty. And this “shitty” feeling is connected to:

• the mere existence of this war
• the overwhelming sense of uncertainty and anxiety about the rise of far-right movements and mass hysteria
• general exhaustion.

I can’t believe l’ve been in the army since ’22. It feels like this: “I still don’t feel like a soldier, but I do feel like a veteran.”

CHIMERA: Overall, not bad. I’m in the right place, I feel useful. The fatigue is creeping in a little, but that’s hardly surprising in the fourth year of war.

* Swallow in Ukrainian

Has your attitude toward the war, the struggle, and the community changed?

VARDA: My principles haven’t changed since the time l first realized that society must be built on equality, justice, and freedom. The circumstances and methods of the struggle for such a society may change, but the essence remains the same. My goal is simple: to preserve the lives and health of the soldiers. As long as russia continues to kill our people, it will never change.

KHYMERA: At the beginning of the war, when we were mobilized, we thought that we would either win very quickly or lose and die very quickly. In any case, it would end fast, and we didn’t realize that this would drag on for years. But if we are still alive and haven’t surrendered, then nothing is lost yet, and we must keep fighting. There’s too much at stake and too much invested to just give up.

LASTIVKA: Of course, it’s changed. War leaves its mark.

FRANKA: Before the war, I lived in Warsaw, and from there, everything seemed much more catastrophic. Now, I react less emotionally to many things. And that’s normal, otherwise, the mind wouldn’t cope. I’ve probably stopped idealizing as much. In our regiment, you can see all layers of society — from IT specialists who volunteered to fight, to people who have spent most of their conscious lives in prison. And that’s normal. The most important thing is that everyone does their job well.

How has your fem optics changed over these three years?

FRANKA: I’d say l’ve solidified my positions. For me, as a feminist, the regional context is always important. At the start of the full-scale war, I observed the Western European feminist movements, and there was a sense that they didn’t fully understand the specifics of Ukraine and Belarus. Personally, l’ve never been close to militaristic or hierarchical structures. But I don’t see another way out, and I don’t regret my choice.

CHIMERA: I don’t think I’ve changed much. The prejudiced attitude toward women remains the same. In order for people to treat you like just another soldier by default, you have to prove yourself as extremely responsible and hardworking. Even then, there will always be someone who says, “Women shouldn’t be in the army,” or “You’re not bad, but l’d prefer a man as a partner.” My usual response is, “I don’t see a line of men eager to replace me.”

VARDA: I underestimated Ukrainian women, and I’m ashamed of that. The number of women in the army is growing exponentially. I see it with my own eyes. It’s incredible that women are going to defend the country, despite the fact that the situation on the battlefield and in politics is far from ideal, despite the fact that they will be devalued in here every single day, despite having children and husbands who are also serving or have already died. They go, and go, and go, all so different. It’s motivating, incredibly motivating. Perhaps right now, that’s my main source of strength — the number of women around me.

War: a part of the familiar struggle, or an entirely separate dimension?

VARDA: On the level of values, it’s the same as when I discussed gender equality with friends or students, fighting against stereotypes. Now, I’m helping soldiers destroy the invaders who bring these conservative values to their extreme, namely genocide. But on the practical and everyday level, war is a different dimension because it’s now conducted through structures. Your daily life in this structure is different from civilian activism.

CHIMERA: Recent global events show that we are not just fighting against the russians; we are fighting for freedom and democratic values, which are not constants and require constant defense.

FRANKA: Personally, not much has changed for me. I see both Putin and Lukashenko as one system. And this system has taken away a lot from me. For example, the ability to see my loved ones. So, if I can do anything to bring its end sooner, I’ll try. The only thing that’s changed is that the sense of helplessness I felt in the last few years has disappeared.

What does “woman in the army” mean to you?

VARDA: I think it’s wrong to try to group all female soldiers together because I see very, very different personalities, therefore motivations, ideas, adaptation strategies, and concerns. Some are not allowed to take combat positions, some are not ready for physical challenges, some see themselves as warriors, others as protectors. I think many problems arise because people see a woman as just a woman, not for her skills and potential, expecting that if one refuses to carry weight, the other will do so too. We’re all different, just like men are. We need to be heard, not singled out as a separate category of soldiers.

FRANKA: Let me rephrase that as “What is it like to be a woman in the army?” My position is more related to intellectual work, so thankfully, I don’t have to prove anything. Overall, I feel comfortable. Honestly, I was prepared for worse. Most often, I probably encounter surprise and sympathy, or something like that. The latter I don’t quite understand, because no one forced me to join the army.

CHIMERA: This is a complex topic. Because they face generalizations. If a man gets combat pay due to nepotism, he’s considered a scoundrel, as well as his relative. If it’s a woman, the same is applied to all women. And even if she does her job honestly, some will still say her position was given through the bed. The army is just a reflection of society. In my opinion, the situation could improve if the percentage of women in the army were higher — then there’s hope that stereotypes and sexism would be reduced. There also needs to be legislative resistance to this. What is a woman in general? Well, the simplest definition would probably be the most accurate: an adult person of the female sex. Everything else is superfluous.

Sisterhood: do you have friends and a support system in the army?

FRANKA: I don’t have any close friends in my unit. Yes, there are women serving with us, but we rarely cross paths. My support circle right now consists of my friends who have served or are serving. Mostly, they’re guys, but honestly, I don’t focus on that at all.

VIPER: I met a wonderful sister-in-arms, Gaika**, she inspires me, and when we spend time together, I love the army. I’m happy that we do better on tests, that we can manage basic medical stuff, and that we like beautiful and weird things. She understands me and always gives great advice or cracks a joke. I guess it was worth going through all the hardship with the transfer just to meet all the good people. When you try, everything works out, just like in life. But everything can fall apart because it’s the army. Something like that.

CHIMERA: I’m an introvert, and for me, my friends have remained the same for years. Some of them are serving or have served, some have not. In the army, I have colleagues with whom we work and communicate informally, but I wouldn’t exactly call them friends.

** though direct translation would be nut (mechanical), callsign is taken after Cadget Hackwrench in adapted translation

Do you feel a gap between yourself and your friends in the rear?

FRANKA: I do miss my friends from civilian life, yes, but even before my service, we were scattered around the world and in different cities, so we didn’t see each other often. I don’t feel any gap between us. Maybe some military topics aren’t very close to them, but on the other hand, that’s even good — it gives us a chance to relax and talk about something else.

VIPER: Of course not. Each of us has our own path and choice. Almost all my friends and acquaintances are active and conscious. We communicate less often simply because I’m far away, busy, tired, and go to bed early. I no longer hang out on Podil and can’t invite anyone over.

CHIMERA: I wouldn’t say so. My friends who aren’t fighting are still either volunteering or somehow involved in the war and the army. The ones who weren’t involved were cut off after 2014. After that, only those who are “in the know” remained.

VARDA: Yes, and it would be naive not to see it. But this gap is not a sentence or an end, it’s a difference in experiences. A difference in experiences is normal, the question is what to do with it. And I’m happy that I have civilian friends who are making incredible efforts to listen to me, understand me, and support me, being, though not physically together, still there for me in this new stage of my life. This is hard emotional work that every civilian has to do. Because we are facing the return of veterans, and it will inevitably be traumatic, but we should start building bridges now, so that this conflict doesn’t tear society apart after the war, from the personal level to the state level. Step one is to stop justifying why you didn’t go to serve to the military. The military knows infantry soldiers who have more children, sick relatives, and more health problems than you do, that’s 100%. Stop justifying yourself and go. And if you don’t go, find a volunteer task and do it well and constantly. That’s the minimum plan.

What bothers or pleases you the most?

VIPER: What excites me the most is that soon l’ll be going to the front. This was my plan, and I had to go through a lot to wait for the transfer, remind everyone 10 times that I need to master my craft… It was easier than the transfer, but it was just as stressful as any army hold-up.

CHIMERA: What worries me, sorry for the pun***, is the turbulence in our world. It was hard enough to fight one enemy, but now our biggest and most powerful ally is siding with the enemy and even engaging in victim-blaming. So, it’s our fault that we were attacked. And the reason? Our president wasn’t dressed right. But what can you expect from Trump, whose name is attached to a long history of sexism, misogyny, and abuse? So, the parallels of our country with a victim of violence who is still blamed by the cops for what happened are all too obvious. What gives me hope is that Europe seems to be finally waking up, before it’s too late.

*** Ukrainian ‘to worry’ can be transliterated as ‘turbuvatysya’, hence the pun

What would you say to those who are just planning to go and fight?

VARDA: Everyone’s paths within these structures are so different. So it’s hard to give advice, especially since everything depends on your specialty. But regardless of it, what really important is to find a commander who is competent and inspires you by example, even irrationally enchanting you. Because it’s going to be difficult, cold, and unhinged, but when you’re managed by someone you truly believe in, not just understand, the path becomes easier.

FRANKA: I’d recommend strengthening your immune system in advance 🙂 The adaptation process is pretty much the same for everyone — you’re constantly getting sick. Also you need to be prepared to put your life on pause for a while.

CHIMERA: At the beginning of the war, there was panic and chaos, and I agreed to be a combat medic. I couldn’t handle the load physically and mentally. After that, I transferred to evacuation, where my knowledge and skills are more needed than physical strength or combat abilities. So I would advise to honestly rate your abilities and resources. Not everyone is cut out to be a frontline fighter.